Bath Time Gone Wrong
by blondie1997
Summary: Jasper and Emmett are left alone to babysit Nessie...and give her a bath. Easy right? So why is Nessie running loose naked, Emmet speaking in an Australian accent, and Jasper the only sane person left in the Cullen household. ON HIATUS : sorry
1. Shirts, Games, and Toys

**AN: Kay this is the second chapter of Simply babysitting, but frankly I hated that story so I deleted it. I decided that this could stand alone on its own so I'm writing it as a real story now not in a list of oneshots. **

**Disclaimer: Me no Stephanie Meyer. Me no own Twilight. Me is now sad. **

"You two don't mind babysitting Nessie tonight do you?" Bella asked as Edward zipped up her dress the rest of the way and put her coat on for her. "We could always cancel if you would like."

"Its fine, Bella." Jasper soothed.

"Yah, Ness loves us!" Emmet said while scooping up the person in question.

"Yay, Unca Emmie." She squealed.

"See?"

"Oh yah, I totally see…Emmie." Edward said trying, and failing, to hold his laughter at his daughter's nickname for her uncle. "Just don't lose her this time, okay"

"Wait, what? When did they lose her?" Bella asked looking up at her husband. The three men exchanged looks. Bella could be quite scary when it concerned her daughter; therefore, they had decided not to tell her about Jasper and Emmet's last babysitting experience, when Nessie decided to play one of her Houdini dissapearing acts on her Uncles.

"I'll tell you later, okay honey?" Edward asked while crossing his fingers behind his back.

"Fine."

"Okay, so bye, have fun you guys, and tell the Denali we said hi." said Jasper obviously trying to get Bella out before she learned about something else…

"I don't know…" Bella seemed hesitant know that she had learned about last time.

"Come on, love, we have to go soon." said Edward, pulling on her arm.

"She'll be fine with us." said Jasper, sending waves of calm towards her.

"Oh, okay. Bye guys. By Renesmee." She said in a spaced out sort of voice.

"Bye Momma, by Daddy!" said Nessie blowing kisses to each of them.

"Bye, baby." Edward said leaning down to kiss her.

After all of the goodbyes were said Edward and Bella went out to Edwards Volvo. Jasper, Emmet, and Nessie went into the living to pop in the Lion King (Nessie's favorite movie) and settle in for a long relaxing night.

"Oh, Jasper, Emmet, I need you guys to give Nessie a bath. Thanks." Edward had been here and gone in less than two seconds, a new record.

What had started as a boring night was about to become very interesting indeed. The two grown vampire manly-men looked at the cute, little toddler in front of them and she smiled the sweetest smile in the world. Yep, she was gonna make this hard for them.

"Emmet, what the hel-heck are you doing up there?" Jasper yelled up the stairs while bouncing Nessie on his hip, she was enjoying it.

"I'll be down in a minute. Go get the water ready or something!"

Jasper walked upstairs with Nessie into her bathroom; yes she had her own bathroom. He turned on the hot water and let it fill up the tub while he sat on the closed toilet lid.

"Your Uncle Emmie is up to something." He said talking to Nessie in a baby voice.

She giggled and pulled on his hair. They sat like that for a couple of minutes until the tub was filled up with water. Jasper went and tested the water, then came back and started to take off Nessie's clothes. He took off her shoes first, which was pretty easy. The socks were too. When he tried to take off her shirt, though, she grasped it in both of her little hands. Jasper pulled at them, very lightly at first then harder.

"Come on Ness. Let. Go. Of. The. Shirt." He said tugging with each word that he said.

"No!" she said giggling; she obviously thought it was a game.

"Okay, you want to play a game. Um, let's play, um…" he looked around the bathroom then picked up a towel. "Let's play peek-a-boo!"

He hid his face then shouted "peek-a-boo!" Nessie was looking at him like he was crazy by the third time he did this, not what he was expecting her to do…

"'Kay, no peek-a-boo…"

"No!"

He spied the chest of bath toys in the corner.

"If I don't undress you then you won't be able to play with your toys."

Nessie seemed to be deeply contemplating the situation before her and forgot to clutch at her clothes. Jasper noticed this and made quick work of the rest of her clothes. Nessie looked down and was very surprised to see herself naked.

"Let's get you in the tub." Jasper picked her up and set her in the water.

"So which toys do you want?"

"All of them!!!!" Nessie said throwing her hands up in the air.

Jasper opened up the case and was amazed at the sheer number of bath toys his niece had.

"I don't think they'll all fit."

"But, but…" Nessie's eyes shimmered with tears.

"Oh, um, how about, um, five?" It seemed like a reasonable number to him.

Nessie contemplated the number of toys in her head. After what seemed like eternity to Jasper she nodded. Jasper turned back to the chest and picked out five toys. His choices must have pleased the little girl because she was now playing happily in the water. Then Emmet showed up…

**AN: Hahahaha! Cliffy!!!!!!!!!! Me is soooooo evil!!!!!!!**


	2. Bikini bottoms, towels, and naked nieces

**AN: This chapter is for all of those people with broken legs/ankles. It doesn't mention anything about them in it but I can totally sympathize with you.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephanie Meyer If I was my cast would be signed by all the actors in Twilight.**

"What the fu-fluffy bunny are you wearing?!" Jasper asked while shielding his eyes.

"My old swim suit, flippers, and goggles, right?" Emmet asked looking down at himself.

"Are you sure that that's your swimsuit? It looks a lot like Rose's bikini bottom."

"That would explain why it's so tight…" said Emmet while putting one foot in the tub.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting in the tub."

"Why are you doing that?"

"How can you bathe a kid if you're not in the tub with them?"

As he said this he plopped into the tub spilling most of the water over the sides. Nessie squealed excitedly at seeing her Uncle in the tub with her. No other adult had done this before!

"Come on Jazz go get your bathing suit on and let's get this kid clean!"

"Um, I'd rather not. You have fun with her. Make sure she doesn't drown, that all the shampoo is out of her hair all that stuff." Jasper said.

He walked out of the bathroom, having had enough "fun" to last him a long time.

**Emmet POV**

To bad for Jazzy!!!! He's gonna miss out on some major fun! I looked down to see Ness playing with a little boat. That's no fun! What's a boat ride without waves?

"Hey Ness how about some waves for that boat?"

"Sure." She said still focusing on her boat.

I put my arm in the water and swept in so hard that Nessie rose a couple of inches in the deep tub. She started laughing so hard that she got a little bit of water in her mouth and started coughing. Emmet thumped her on the back lightly until she stopped.

"Okay no waves let's do something else…"

2 hours later…

"Uncle Emmet, the water's getting cold." Nessie complained.

"Oh, hmmm, I guess you're clean enough."

"But you didn't even put shampoo in my hair." She said.

"Well, it looks clean enough to me." I said inspecting her wet curls. This was easy.

"Okay!" she said getting out of the tub.

I got out after her and grabbed a towel. I wrapped it around her and rubbed her dry. While I dried myself of I noticed that Ness wasn't making those little kid sounds. I took the towel off of my head and Ness wasn't there. Oh. My. Gosh. Edward is gonna kill me!

**Jasper POV **

Emmet was freaking out upstairs so I decided to check on him. Halfway up the stairs I saw a Nessie-like shape run past me, butt naked. That stopped me for a couple of seconds, really if you just saw your niece run by you naked you would stop too. I walked up the rest of the stairs in a slower than human pace. I heard noises coming from the bathroom so I went in. I saw Emmet bent down and searching for something in the closet.

"Emmet did you lose Nessie?"

He turned around. "Yes, no, maybe…"

"Because I'm pretty sure that I just saw her on the stairs."

"Oh you did?"

"Yes, and I think we should go find her now."

"Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Wait a sec." he turned around and started rummaging in the linen closet. He faced me again with two HUGE towels in his hands.

"What are those for?" I asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"If we throw this over her head it will calm her down." Okay…

"How do you know this?"

"I saw it on Discovery Channel or something…. Let's go!"

We crept down the hallway in search of the elusive Nessie.

**AN: I really don't advise you actually put a towel over a little kids head but I did see it work with animals on discovery. I will write if you review...**


	3. The Loch Nessie Monster

**AN: Another chapter up!!!!! My b-day is tomorrow so definetly expect the next chapter then!!!!! This one is pathetically short so sorry!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Jasper POV

"The two brave explorers creep silently through the jungle. Searching for the Locke Nessie Monster." I heard Emmet narrating our search from behind me. I think he was trying to imitate Steve Irwin, but it just came out as a really bad Australian accent.

"Emmet what the heck are you doing?" I asked him while turning around.

"Narrating our journey, mate."

I turned back around shaking my head. Emmet continued his narration behind me.

"One adventurer seems to be lacking confidence in the other. This can't lead to good things faithful viewers. No, never good things. The Loch Nessie Monster can smell annoyance a mile away and will come to annoy the annoyed person even more…" Emmet continued on with his ramblings as we slowly walked down the hall. He would jump behind plants and open doors whenever he hears a noise. The words 'crickey' and 'mate' came in as Emmet explained it the faithful viewers the dangers of the Locke Nessie Monster.

"…their teeth are really sharp too; remember that and they giggle right before they attack. Don't be fooled by their cuteness faithful viewers that's what they want you to think! That their cute and harmless nut they aren't especially when they consume large amounts of sugar…"

I tuned Emmet out and searched high and low. I was getting major déjà vu from the last time that we had babysat Nessie. I sware that kid can just disappear for hours on end. We had searched everywhere in the house. Well, I had searched everywhere Emmett hadn't really helped at all. We had just found her in time for Edward to come home and thought that we were going to get off scot free but then Nessie had 'tattled' on us. Edward was pissed. What would happen if he found out again? He would probably kill us. Bella would too…

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Emmett jumped behind me screaming.

"What the heck Emmett?" I asked.

"I heard a giggle."

"Why is that so scary?"

"Weren't you listening to me? Loch Nessie Monsters giggle before they attack!"

He tried to hide himself further behind me with not much luck.

"Emmet, I really doubt that our little niece is going to-ow!"

She had been here and gone in two seconds.

"OMG! Jasper you've been bitten! Do you know what this means?"

"Um, no."

"You're turning into one of them!"

Emmett had officially lost his mind.

"Emmett, what are you talking about?"

"Weren't you listening to anything I was saying? When the Loch Nessie Monster bites you you turn into an evil minion."

"Okay. Emmett I think you've been watching way too many cartoons so let's just go get Nessie and when Carlisle gets home we'll have him look at it."

"Fine, but if you start growing gills don't come crying to me." He humphed and turned around with his arms crossed over his chest.

We continued down the hall to Nessie's bedroom. When we got there I opened up the door. Nessie jumped out at me. I quickly moved out of the way and she landed on Emmett. He grabbed her around the waist and for one glorious second I thought we had won. But no Nessie sunk her teeth into Emmett arm and he dropped her. She ran off to some other part of the mansion we live in.

"Great." I said under my breath.

"Jasper…"

"What."

"I've…I've…"

"What?!"

"I've been bitten!" he wailed.

You have got to be kidding me…

**AN: Like it hate it review!!!!**


	4. General Whitlock loses his mind

**AN: Happy Birthday to me!!!!! This is another pathetically short chapter. It's a little weird, but I wrote it in like 45 minutes since I really wanted to get it out. Sorry if it isn't as good as my others!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight…**

No POV

Jasper just stood there for a couple of minutes. His eye was twitching. Emmet was totally creeped out.

"Ummm, Jasper are you okay?"

"That's General Whitlock to you soldier."

Yep, poor Jazzy had finally cracked.

"Yes, sir General sir!"

Looks like Emmett wasn't too far behind him.

"We need a battle plan." Said Jasper, excuse me **General Whitlock**, while he paced the floor. He looked down at himself and gasped. "Why am I wearing civilian clothing? This is an outrage!"

He walked down the hall into his and Alice's room, where he kept his perfectly preserved Confederate uniform. After a few minutes he walked back out looking much more official.

"What's your first order General?"

"We need a base to hide out in." he said stroking an imaginary beard.

"We can use the blankets and cushions from the living room!"

"I like how you think, soldier." General Whitlock clapped Emmett on the back and walked down the stairs.

To Emmett a clap on the back by the **General** was a very big thing. He seemed to have forgotten that he had lived with this guy for the last fifty years…

Downstairs…

"Go and gather all of the blankets I'll take care of these cushions." Jasper said in total I'm-a-big-shot-General mode.

He made quick work of the three couches, two armchairs, and millions of pillows, piling them all in the middle of the room. Emmett came back in with his arms full of all of the blankets he could find in the house.

"Kay let's start." Jasper rubbed his hands together.

Twenty minutes later…

Jasper and Emmett had created the most elaborate pillow fort in the history of the world. All of the six-year-olds would be so proud if they could see it. It had multiple exits; five different spaces where multiple people could stand, and was tall enough for both of them to stand up straight while they were in it. Heck, it even had a flag! Jasper and Emmett both lifted the blanket that served as the door and walked inside. They walked to the very center meeting place where they had placed two stools. Both of them sat down.

"What's our strategy, General?"

"Renesmee is a little kid. She should be drawn to the fort. All we have to do is sit and wait for her to come to us."

"What if she bites us again?" Emmett actually sounded scared.

"We'll have to endure it."

Both men shuddered.

"Hehehehehe!"

"Did you hear that?" Jasper stood up so fast that his stool toppled over.

"Hahahahaha!"

Both men clutched at each other for dear life.

"She's going to attack!" Emmett's deep voice shot up three octaves.

"Man the battle stations!"

"What battle stations?"

"We forgot to make battle stations?!"

"I think so…"

"WE'RE DOOMED!!!!!!" Jasper wailed at the same time as his phone rang. He picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Jazz? You sound awful."

"Hehehehehehehe." it was getting closer!

"IT'S GOING TO ATTACK!!!!! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!!!!!" Emmett yelled, running around in circles.

"What's going to attack? What's going on? Where's Nessie?" Edward was getting frantic.

"NO, EMMETT STOP!!!! IT'S GOING TO COLLAPSE!!!!" Jasper said two seconds to late, his voice was lost in the multitude of fluffy pillows that now surrounded them.

"Jazz, Jazz, Jasper, what happened?" Edward asked frantically on the other end of the phone.

Nessie POV

Mwahahahahahahaha!!! I have toppled their fortress!!!!! That will teach them to give me a bath!!!! Wait. NO!!!! Their still moving!!! I ran out of the room before my semi-crazy uncles could dig themselves out. I decided to hide in Auntie Alice's closet, they would never find me there…

**AN: Nessie shows her evil side! Like it? Hate it? Review for more!!!!**


	5. Emmett's Special Outfit

**AN: This chapter is really short, but I just had to stop it where I did!!!!! Hope you guys like it!!!! Hugs to everyone who reviewed!!!!!!**

**Disclaimer: Okay, I don't want to shock you guys or anything but, I don't own Twilight. I know its shocking, just keep breathing…in…out…in…out…**

**Nessie POV**

I ran up the stairs before they could dig themselves out. Creeping down the hall jumping at any sounds I thought over what I would do next.

_If I can keep myself hidden in the closet until Dad and Mom get back home then I can show myself then. _ _Even if General Goofball and Lieutenant Loopy did find out where I was hiding they would never find me here! This place is HUGE!!!!! _I thought as I entered the room.

I closed the door a little bit so it wasn't so obvious I was in here. Walking through the clothes, I tried to decide which section to hide in. Auntie Alice's more ummm delicate clothing was out; Jasper probably knew his way around in that section. I finally settled down in the back where the dust hadn't been moved around for a long time. Settling down I strained my ears to hear what was happening downstairs.

**No POV**

Jasper was struggling to free himself from the multitude of pillows surrounding him. He wasn't making much progress…it was sad, really. Emmett hadn't been buried so deeply and was having much more success. The only upside of the pillow avalanche was the fact that whatever had been knocked out of place in Jasper's head was back in its rightful place.

"FREEDOM!" Emmett shouted as he broke free. "Jazz? Jazz, where are you!!!! Don't leave me alone with the little monster!!!!"

Emmett fell to his knees and sobbed. Jasper was getting very annoyed in his pillow jail and decided to try and talk.

"Mmph! Mm mmph!"

Emmett's head jerked up.

"Jazz, you're alive!!!! Keep breathing, man, I'm coming to get you!!!!" Emmett started to dig through the pillows to reach his brother. He unsurfaced Jasper after a couple of seconds. Jasper stood up and dusted himself off. He looked down at himself, and his eyes grew larger.

"Why am I wearing my old uniform?" he asked talking very slowly and fingering the fabric carefully.

"You mean you don't remember?!" Emmett asked incredulously.

Jasper shook his head.

"The little monster must've brain washed you!!!"

Jasper looked at him like he had grown three extra heads and had just expressed his life's goal was to be a ballerina…again.

"You're not talking about Nessie are you?"

"No I'm talking about Edwina! Who else would I be talking about?!" Emmett threw his hands up in the air.

"Speaking of Nessie, where is she?"

"I don't know she disappeared after she collapsed the fort. We didn't have any battle stations!! Can you believe it?!"

Jasper stared at him for a long time, his eyes narrowed, as if trying to figure out what was going on in his brother's head. He gave up and turned around to walk up the stairs.

"I'm going to go change and then I'm going to go look for our niece, okay?"

"Nooooooooo! Leave her alone!!!! We should wait until Bella and Eddie come home, she bites!!!!!"

Jasper shook his head and continued up the stairs.

"!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I LIKED YOU BETTER AS A SOLDER-PERSON-THINGY!!!!!!" Emmett wailed falling to his knees.

**Emmett POV**

I had lost my greatest ally. He had gone over to the dark side. I was so disappointed in him. I liked him better as General Whitlock…. Know Emmett was all alone. I couldn't handle the Evil One by myself. At least not like this…. I guess that leaves me with one option.

**Alice POV in NY on her shopping trip with Rosalie**

Rose and I had just gotten back from our days worth of shopping. Carlisle was going to freak when he saw the credit card bill…. I was overtaken by vision just as I had sat down on the bed to check the news.

_I was in Emmett and Rose's room. It looked like no one was in the room, then I saw Emmett come out from the adjoining bathroom. OH MY GOSH!!!! I thought we had gotten him out of that faze years ago. I had also thought we had burned that outfit in the dead of night…_

I snapped out of it and saw Rose in front of me shaking my body.

"Alice, what did you see?" She asked.

"Emmett…" I trailed off and tried to stifle my laughter as the image of Emmett in _that_**. **

"What? What bout Emmett? He's not hurt is he?" Rose was getting hysterical, but was probably handling it better than I would have if I thought Jazzy was hurt…

"No he's not hurt. He's just wearing the you-know-what." I said, giggling.

Rose looked extremely relieved, and then her face broke out into a grin.

"I thought we burned it."

"Apparently he had a spare."

Both of us burst out laughing at the memory of the last time that Emmett had found use for his _special _outfit.

"I-laugh-wish I could-laugh-see the look on-giggle-Jasper's face when he-laugh-see him!!!" Rose tried (and failed) to make out a coherent sentence threw her laughter.

I nodded; the look on Jasper's face would be priceless when he saw Emmett in _that _again.

**AN: I personally think this chapter is sucky, but tell me what you think!!!!**

**REVIEW**

**AND **

**I  
WILL  
POST**


	6. DISCOVERY CHANNEL!

**AN: I'VE RETURNED FROM THE DEAD!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOO sorry for the wait you guys!!!! I've been totally swamped with school work for the past 3 months!!! First it was the science fair, then an oral book report, and a social studies paper. On top of all of that I had a short story for MATH CLASS!!!!! Do you have any idea how hard it is to write a story about fractions, decimals, and percents, especially when you're blond??? I think I did a pretty good job on it, though, because he read it after I turned it in and started cracking up. I've recently gotten hooked on fics where one or more of the twilight couples have a baby. If you know about any good ones PLEASE tell me!!!!! This is crappy and rushed, but I felt really bad for making you wait so long I put it up.**

**Disclaimer: I tried to trade George the depressed mixed number for Emmett and Jasper but Stephanie didn't want him. Poor George :(**

**No POV**

Emmett couldn't do this as himself. He couldn't defeat his evil niece and save his brother like this. Well, he could, but then he would give away his secret identity…and Super Em never let anyone know who he is…

**Jasper POV**

I venture into the depths of my wife's closet. This action normally scared me. I had gotten lost in the closet once before and I did not want to do that again…

I had made it to the back of the closet when I heard something moving to the right of me. Creepy…maybe one of Alice's outfits had come alive and was seeking revenge on us for forgetting about it…that was definitely a possibility. I walked over to try and find out what the noise was, when I was grabbed around the waist by two spandex clad arms. They tried to pull me out of the closet, and I let them for a couple of seconds. I had never thought I would be in this situation again. Didn't Alice and Rose burn it last time? I pulled out of the grasp and turned around.

Yep. I was right. It was him. Emmett, or should I say 'Super Em' stood in front of me in a super hero suit he had made out of spandex. He would have looked really funny to anyone who wasn't in my family, but to me it was like seeing Godzilla walk in.

"I thought Alice and Rose burned that _thing_." Maybe it had come back from the beyond the grave to haunt us…

Emmett's eyes narrowed. "So, that's what happened to my back-up!!!" He shouted, holding his fist up to the ceiling. "I will get revenge on The Tinker bell and Incredibly Sexy Lady!!!!! How dare they!!!!"

**No POV**

Jasper stood, rooted to the spot, watching Super Em as he began to formulate his plan.

"We'll need to get you all loopy again, Jasper. You're no use to Super Em like this." Emmett walked up to Jasper and started to poke his head.

Jasper side stepped Super Em. "What do you mean all loopy **again**?" he asked, "When was I ever loopy before?"

"Ooooohhh, that's right, you don't remember." Super Em stood in front of Jasper again, cornering him against a very expensive cocktail dress. "Well, last time it was like something got knocked out of place in your head sooooo…"

Super Em pounded his fist over Jasper's head. For a second it looked like Super Em's plan wasn't going to work, but then Jasper straightened up with a weird gleam in his eye.

"Thank you, soldier." Jasper said, shaking Super Em's hand. "I really needed that. Now that I'm back to my senses what did I miss?"

"Well, General…" Emmett started to talk, but Jasper held up his hand.

"General?" He asked, "I'm a Major."

"But you said before that you where General Whitlock…" Super Em said his eyes wide.

"I would never do such a thing!!!! You're memory must be faulty." **Major **Whitlock said.

**Nessie POV**

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I mentally screamed as I saw my Uncle reclaim his insanity. Grrrrrr!!! I had just lost my upper hand, now both of them knew about my secret evil ways. I could hold my own against **both **of them.

What to do, what to do.

Uncle Emmett had knocked something loose in Uncle Jasper's head…maybe if I could reverse that then I could recover from this blow.

**No POV**

Super Em explained what had happened in the last hour to Major Whitlock, who seemed surprised at all that had happened while he had been 'on leave'.

"Do we have any advantages?" he asked after mulling over the news for a minute.

"We're about 100 years older than her, we're vampires, and we've been given control over everything she does till 10 o'clock tonight." Super Em told him.

"Not much of an advantage…" Major Whitlock thought for a moment. "I guess we could just try and capture her from inside this closet, this is where you saw her last, right?" Super Em nodded. "But what with? From your description of her behavior I would guess that she is jacked up on sugar. We need some way to calm her down."

Super Em suddenly got very excited. Well more than excited, he was doing what looked like a dance that made him seem like a second grader that needs to go to the bathroom very badly, complete with a hand waving in the air to ask the for the teachers permission to go relieve himself.

"Oooooohhhh!! Ooooooooohhhhhh!!!" He said waving his hand in the air.

"Yes, Super Em?" Major Whitlock stopped pacing to hear what his ally had to say.

"DISCOVERY CHANNEL!!!!!!!!" Super Em shouted, pumping his fist up into the air.

**AN: Do you like it????? The whole 'I'm not an General, I'm a Major' part was to cover up a mistake I had made in chapter three or four. YES Emmett has a super hero costume!!! I might write another story explaining that, if you guys want me to. Me LOVE reviews, me want you to right one.**


	7. Not really Chapter 7

ME: Okay, guys, I'm really really really sorry about the whole not updating thing…

Lily: No she's not.

ME: YES, I am!

Lily: No, you're not, you don't love me anymore! *starts crying*

Kaden: Congratulations, you just made my little sister cry!

ME: WAIT NO! I love you! I've just been really busy…

Adrian: Uh huh.

Kaden: Suuuuuuuuuure…

Lily: *still crying*

ME: But…I have everything figured out…it just starts after Twilight…

Lily: *sniff* Yah, like what.

ME: Like, I already wrote the Alice returns scene for New Moon and…and…

Lily: And you already promised that you would finish another story first! But your computer just HAD to crash and you just HAD to lose EVERYTHING THAT YOU WROTE ABOUT THOSE STUPID HP CHARACTERS!

ME: Look…your story is coming along better than Bath Time Gone Wrong…

Jasper: She's right…

Emmett: We haven't seen the light of day in, like, FOREVER.

Nessie: We've been pushed into the back of her mind *whispers* its scary back here, HELP!

ME: But I promised I would finish Who Are You first but my computer crashed while I was writing the nest chapter…and it was pure genius…

Teddy: It was…and I was in it too!

James: Do you know how long it told us to get that stupid chapter the right way? FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!

Albus: Plus you started us first…SO FINISH THE STORY THERE'S ONLY ONE FRIGGIN' CHAPTER LEFT!

Lily: NO! Write a chapter of my story first! I'm wayyyyy cuter!

Jasper and Emmett: But we're funnier!

So this is basically what's been going on in my head for, oh, the past three months! I haven't gotten anything done and you can all hate me for posting this author's note but first here me out…

**Bath Time Gone Wrong:** Sorry, guys but you've been bumped down, I've had absolutely NO inspiration for this story and I don't think I'm going to magically find some…sorry.

**Observations:** I wuv this story with all of my heart, especially because it has some of my OC's in it but lately it's taken a random turn and I'm trying to get it back on track. I've got snippets of it mapped out all the way to the end of Eclipse were it gets WAY more dramatic and less little-kiddish. But I'm going to change some things that aren't working for me…remember this story came from an undeveloped plot bunny.

Lily can't remember everything, it doesn't work out, she has a different power

Kaden has a different power too

Lily, Kaden, and Adrian are all THIRTEEN not the whole six/thirteen THAT was getting confusing but they do have spastic growth spurts and power developments so Carlisle likes to keep an eye on them.

I think I'm going to skip a lot of the little tiny things in Twilight because, frankly, it was my least favorite book out of the series and I want to get out of it as fast as I can. So if there's any scene that you really want to see (from any of the books) PM or review me, it'll give me more ideas!

**Who Are You:** As you can probably figure out my computer crashed while I was writing the next chapter. It was pure genius as far as my writing goes and I was very unhappy to see it go. I think that I can recreate it but I'm digging far back into my memory to do it so that's why it's taking so long.

Okay, there's my horrible little attempt at explaining my absence. If you actually read this far then good for you! I would absolutely love some ideas for my stories (especially Observations) fell free to Review or PM me if you have any.


End file.
